Last week I delivered one of my favorite workshops, which is called “Power of Commitment: The Secret Sauce for Getting Things Done". As it usually happens, people felt shaken.
During this presentation I talk about something that is very common sense, and not such common practice: the idea that for us to move forward with an intention, there needs to be commitment. We all walk around with lots of intentions and desires. We want to get healthier, to meditate, to spend more time with family, travel, write a book, start a new job, to name a few. Funny enough, organizing the basement was the most popular intention in the room last week. And while those intentions keep haunting us and draining our energy, we tend to keep the status quo instead of taking steps in the direction of progress towards our goal.
We tend to blame the lack of time, knowledge, motivation or the feeling that the task is too overwhelming. Sometimes we are afraid. Those are all perfectly normal reasons to stall a project. We all do it. AND, we all have choices.
When we blame others or the situation for our actions, we are putting ourselves in the place of victims. We are outsourcing our choices and therefore abdicating from the power of taking control of our actions and simultaneously of the responsibility that comes with it. Although it might seem counterintuitive, it is very comfortable to blame anything outside of us for our situation. It removes the pressure that we can do something about it. If my work is too demanding and does not leave time for me to exercise, it’s a lot easier to keep missing the gym appointments and blaming the job, than doing something about it. Carving out time by being more productive, saying NO to tasks that are not a priority with the risk of being perceived as a jerk, waking up earlier, or even looking for another job that requires less hours: those are all harder options than keeping the status quo. So we go on and on, blaming the job and not doing anything about it. And the consequence is that we continue with that permeating feeling of disappointing ourselves.
Every time we say YES to something, we say NO to something else. Warren Buffet's famous quote describes well the consequences of being a yes man “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say NO 90% of the time”.
I recently heard a question by Mel Robbins that I believe captures well the choice we are making here: “Do you want to be tortured by your dreams or work towards them?”
Which dreams or intentions can you let go of, and which ones are really important and therefore torturing you? What are you willing to say NO to so that you can say YES to what matters the most? What is getting in the way?
I will leave you with this worksheet, which has a 3 step model to transform your wants and hopes into action. I invite you to take some time TODAY to complete it and start moving your life in the direction that you want.
And after you complete it, send me an email at barbara@bnowconsulting.com with your intentions and commitments. A big step towards sticking to the plan is creating accountability. Your first accountability move will be to share your plan with me. I commit to support you in responding to every single email I receive.
Be well, be now.
Warmly,
Barbara